Can a Thappad in time, save nine?

There's something very powerful about cinema that we tend to forget, because usually it gets lost in the pool of mediocrity that is thrown in our faces on a constant, unending and unapologetic basis. But every once in a while,  a piece of art comes along, which not only makes you put on your thinking cap, but also leaves you uncomfortable and shook from the inside. I recently had the privilege of experiencing something similar when a friend of mine suggested me the hindi movie, 'Thappad'. The movie, starring Tapsee Pannu and helmed by Anubhav Sinha, released on an OTT platform on May 1st, 2020. I had heard a lot of appreciation for the movie when it was released across the theaters but wasn't wise enough to go and watch it then. But now, during lockdown, I had the time to watch it and honestly speaking, once I did, I wasn't able to sleep properly for the next few days.

                    The movie is titled aptly, not just because it highlights the main context of its plot, but because it is indeed a tight slap on the societal norms. It is not just a movie, it's a mirror for the entire society, it's a wake up call for everyone, it's a lesson which makes every man realize the subjects he fails at in life! All the parts in the movie have been played to perfection by the respective actors, and when I say all, I also include the actor who plays the bhabhi in the family (Nidhi Uttam) and I will get to the reason to that in little bit. In addition to being efficiently enacted, it's the execution of the movie which forces you into submission for its brilliance. The intricate details are so precisely woven into the narrative that I had to watch the movie multiple times to understand the importance of the minutest of the moments. The movie very subtly underlines how the women are still treated as the 2nd grade gender and men are the ones around whom their lives should revolve. The movie highlights so many patriarchal punches in a deft manner in the initial part, that when Vikram asks what Shivani does that she's so successful in a sarcastic tone and the reply from Amrita comes "mehnat (hard work)", it feels like a mini victory. There are parallels drawn in the circumstances of different characters throughout the movie, and it remains up to you to identify them. In one of the most telling sequences, Vikram, in the morning after the slap incident, is whining to Amrita how he feels cheated at work after putting in so much efforts and you can't help but realize that she's feeling the exact same thing in her personal life. The movie very efficiently yet silently points out how deep patriarchy is rooted in our society that it has become almost normal behavior to maintain such inequalities among the two genders. It feels as if someone is standing in front of you, holding at your both arms and has shook you vigorously. Such is the impact of patriarchy that even the most aware, evolved and woke men unintentionally (or intentionally) suppress the women in their lives. The character of bhabhi in this movie is a silent example of the impact that generations of patriarchy has had on women. The only significance she has in the house is that of making good food. Even when she knows Vikram is wrong, she has to defend him because men are always right and they deserve to get away with anything that they do! That being said, it does not mean the women are depicted as victims and weak in the movie. In fact, it is clearly stated that being a homemaker after marriage was Amrita's choice and nobody forced it on her. Also, Amrita holds her own in the entire movie without ever breaking down barring a moment where, out of inbuilt rage, she pulls at the bed sheet so strongly that the lamp falls on the other side of the bed and then she sits on the floor in sheer frustration and starts crying. But this solo moment, where she seems at her weakest, is used to propel her to the life changing decision immediately as she decides to leave the house in the very next scene. The movie does not vilify its men, it just lights up a small flame, showing that no matter how much we have evolved as humans, the patriarchal evil still looms large.
                             If we take our eyes off the movie and think about our lives, ever since we are born, we are brought up in a male-centric world. This is a world in which 'mom makes dinner' and 'dad works to earn' are the norms. We somehow get accustomed to the pseudo-facts that what men do qualifies as work, where as women just stay at home all day. A father, while teaching his son, will tell him that men and women are equal, and at the same time will ask his wife, who has being toiling in the kitchen all day, to bring him tea. When men cook, cookery becomes an art and the event becomes an occasion, but someone has written with indelible ink that cooking regularly in the house is a woman's job, even if they both go out to work! The fact that taking care of home is actual work which is equal to, if not harder than, what men do is never ever told to us. In professional environments, presence of a successful woman is seen as a surprise. They and their opinions are often considered unimportant by their male counterparts. We have become such slaves of patriarchy that generations after generations, men are told that they are superior, the beings with dreams, and women are told that they should learn to adjust. The concept that men are superior has been instilled so deeply into our mindsets that women are always on the lower pedestal of the grid. Our movies have also repeatedly depicted the same on the silver screen. Even the educated quarters of the society have inculcated this learning and have trained themselves accordingly. The fact that domestic abuse and violence is reported out of well educated families proves that the evils of patriarchy are not specific to any particular cadre of our society. And personally, just by a little introspection, all of us can realize the mistakes that we have made and the instances when we have, even if unintentionally, treated the women in our lives differently.

                                             I'm not saying that we have not developed at all when it comes to having a conscience, but there's still a long way to go. And the fact that I am writing this piece doesn't mean I'm an exception, rather I'm very much a part of the patriarchal machine. The fact that this movie made me uncomfortable proves how wrong I have been in my ways. But I have realized to correct myself one step at a time. Thankfully, we are seeing an increased number of movies as well which make us aware of our wrong ways. And along with all the women, such movies should be mandatorily shown to men so that we can realize that the change will eventually be pushed with the small yet significant personal corrections we make. We need our influencers to talk about the issue in a manner which hits right where it hurts. The habit of treating a woman equally should be taught to children as soon as they learn to understand things around them. And before it gets too late, teenagers and grown ups should be taught that women are not there for them to impose authority upon. Men taking the right call for women won't be the end of patriarchy, women being empowered enough to make a call themselves will be! May be we will put patriarchy behind us in the coming generations, may be we will finally wake up and spot a light at the end of this dark tunnel!